As I pulled my standard-issue Apple earbuds out of my bag at work today surrounded by co-workers wearing nice, cushy over-ear headphones (I don’t like wearing things that mess with my hair – it’s bad enough as it is), it occurred to me that I have quite a few little “quirks”…and not cute ones, like pronouncing the word “bagel” funny (which I’ve also been told I do, but I digress), but more so traits that teeter a very dangerous line between being a little eccentric and full-on high maintenance/cantankerous. Let’s discuss:
“This is what cats do, right?”
~ I eat my food like a bird/squirrell. This might sound cute (or at least like I’m trying to be cute), but really it’s ridiculous/disgusting. I break apart crackers. I’ve been known to eat a cupcake with a fork, and take 3 hours to finish it. I pick cake pops (cake pops, for Christ’s sake) into tiny little pieces. This isn’t because I have a tiny, delicate appetite, but because I view eating food as my primary hobby and prefer to make a tiny snack last several hours so that I’m eating at all times.
~ I have stage fright to an alarming degree. I can’t do ANYTHING in front of anyone if I feel the tiniest amount of pressure, or I freeze up or screw whatever I’m doing up beyond repair. I don’t really even like to drive with other people in the car, because I feel like they’re critiquing my every move. I turn from a competent adult to an actor in an infomercial who’s unable to hold a fork without fumbling and ultimately tossing it into the air and throwing their hands up in defeat.
~ I can’t make faces on demand. If someone tells me to make an “angry” face, I’ll forget what to do with my bones and skin. I also can’t do any accents, at all.
~ I don’t like when I can hear other peoples’ music – for example, if they’re wearing headphones and their volume is just a tiny bit too high, or if someone is very softly playing music on their computer. It drives me absolutely bananas.
~ On a related note, when people are in public and play videos or music on their phone out loud without using earbuds, it makes my blood boil. I can’t think of much that drives me crazier. Some people hate hearing people chew, I hate hearing peoples’ phones. Sometimes Jeff will try to play me a song or show me something on his phone and I have to practice yogic breathing to keep from losing it. I don’t know if it’s the tinny quality of phone speakers or what, but it makes my skin crawl.
~ I really don’t like brightly colored plastic bottles of soap/dish detergent (or anything else, really). I refuse to buy certain brands of products because I hate their packaging. I don’t like having anything “busy” visible or on display. Same goes for candles or really even tissue boxes.
~ This is very disgusting and I probably shouldn’t admit it, but I’m whatever the opposite of germaphobic is. If it weren’t for societal pressure, I’d probably never wash my hands (I know – I told you I’m disgusting) – unless some sort of debris actually gets on them, at which point I can’t wash them fast enough (I hate being actively dirty; I just don’t care about germs). I do attribute the fact that I very rarely get sick to this, though – I expose myself to so much bacteria, I’m probably immune to the majority of bugs that go around (I don’t really know how that works, but that’s what I tell myself).
~ At the movies, I only like to sit to the left of my viewing partner – this may just be a “couple-y” thing that I’ve developed over years of going to movies with primarily Jeff (at restaurants, he always wants me to sit in the seat facing the door – I don’t really understand why – I think he explained one time that it’s due to me being left-handed or something – but I just do it out of habit now, even if I’m with someone other than Jeff), but it’s still a little odd.
~ I put mashed potatoes in my chicken soup – I’ve done this since I was little (I got this habit from my gramma). This isn’t quirky; it’s genius and you should do it too.
That’s all I can think of at the moment, but I know there’s more…I can’t be alone here, right? What are some freaky little things you guys do?